Monday, December 5, 2011

Uh, you're doing it wrong.

It was requested that I write a post about kissing. Well, there was more to that request, but I don't think I'll completely oblige the requestee.

But if you think about it--and I mean really think about it--kissing is just...weird. I mean, what's more romantic than swapping spit and germs and all manner of grossness with someone else you (hopefully) really like. Spend a minute to think about that. Makes you want to run to the bathroom and brush your teeth--or throw up.

Well, I present you something else that may make you want to throw up. I love Ellen. She's hilarious. (I really hope that she's still on when I'm ridiculously rich and stay home all day so that I can watch her.) Anyway, I ran across this and found it hilarious. And disturbing. And all sorts of weird.

You back from the bathroom? Yeah. That bride was a bit...aggressive. She, apparently, doesn't watch enough chick flicks to know that kissing does indeed include "less chewing." She married a man, not a chew toy.

And just so the requestee isn't completely disappointed by the lack of information in this post, I knew before this video what a good (and bad) kiss is. And I've been perfecting it in the past six weeks.

"A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know."
-Jeanne Bourgeois